Black Butterfly Page 35

  Nolen interrupted. “I’ve learned that her parents want her transferred to Bellevue as soon as she’s stable.”

  “Bellevue?” Todd stammered.

  Sydney looked at the doctor. “Can they do that without her consent?” The doctor nodded. “Their attorney has already contacted the hospital. He’s filed emergency papers to have her committed.”

  “No!” Todd said, crumbling.

  Sydney grabbed his arm. “It’s ok. Calm down. Can we go to her now?” The doctor sighed, glancing apprehensively at Nolen. “Come with me.” They all followed the doctor. Nolen smiled at Sydney, but she refused to look at him. Slipping her hands into the pockets of her coat, she breezed past him, swallowing her pain and anger she tried to remain focused on Trish.

  They stepped out of the elevator to see Carol Hesser standing outside Trish’s door.

  Todd glared at her suspiciously. “Where’s your husband?”

  “What are you doing here?” Carol shrieked. She turned to the doctor, baring her teeth. “My husband gave specific orders that this man and his friends are to be nowhere near my daughter!” Dr. Patel blushed. “Mrs. Hesser, please lower your voice.”

  Todd raced up the hall, crashing into Trish’s room with Sydney and the others close behind. A man that Sydney assumed must be Trish’s father was hovering over her. Trish was unconscious, with a breathing tube in her mouth, and the man was running his fingers through her hair.

  The attack from Todd came swiftly. He threw the man to the floor, pounding and punching him in the face and neck. Nolen and Ricky pulled a shouting Todd off Trish’s father. It was only then she looked back to the bed. Her beautiful friend looked broken.

  “Please, please stop this now!” Dr. Patel yelled. “Everyone calm down now or you’ll have to leave!” Sydney ran her hand over her friend’s clammy forehead. “Trish, sweetie, it’s me,” she cooed softly.

  Portia came around to the other side of Trish’s bed to touch her hand. “I’m here too. All three of us are together again—The Three Musketeers.”

  Trish’s eyes moved under her closed lids and Sydney felt a glimmer of hope.

  Nolen dragged Trish’s father out of the room as Todd appeared at the foot of the bed. He walked around to Sydney’s side to be closer to her.

  “All of you need to keep it down on this floor,” the doctor repeated. “I can’t have you fighting. This is your last warning.”

  As Ricky went to the doctor to apologize, promising that they would stay under control, Todd kissed Trish’s forehead and pressed his cheek against hers. “It’s me,” he whispered. “I’m here. Remember we’re in this together. I won’t leave you. I won’t fail you again. I swear it.” Portia’s eyes met Sydney’s, and she smiled apologetically. Sydney couldn’t return the sentiment, so she turned her eyes away, looking again at the crying and desperate Todd.

  “Trish, please,” Todd said, he buried his face against her chest. “You have to fight your way through this.

  They’ll take you from me if you don’t fight back. I need you to help me. Fight.” Emotionally exhausted, Sydney leaned against the wall in Trish’s room, trying to understand how she could have failed her friend so completely.

  Ricky reached for her, and she stiffened, but he persisted in pulling her into his arms. Tired of fighting, she gave in, crying into his chest. Why hadn’t she seen this coming? Was Portia right? Had she brought this hell into Trish’s life by introducing her to Todd? Trish was so precious, so very special, and she deserved a life without pain and fear.

  Ricky held her gently, rubbing her back and kissing the top of her head.

  Nolen spoke from behind them. “Keep your fucking hands off her,”

  “Stop it, Nolen,” Sydney snapped.

  Todd lifted his head. “Would everyone please go? She doesn't need this. Just go."

  Sydney glared at Nolen. As she left, Nolen hurried after her. “Where are you going?” he asked.

  “Away from you!” she snapped.

  “The hell you are.” He grabbed her hand.

  “Let me go!”

  “Never!” he said, dragging her to the elevator.

  “I said no Nolen! I’m not going anywhere with you.”

  “We’re going home to have this out, Sydney. Whatever anger and disappointment you feel, we’ll face it, and then we’ll come back and deal with the rest of this mess. I won’t lose you to this.” He forced her into the elevator.

  Sydney snatched herself away and moved away from him. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

  “I’m the man who loves you, damn it. I’m the man you love!”

  “The man I love wouldn’t lie to me over and over.”

  “I didn’t.”

  “The hell you didn’t! Every day that you kept the truth from me, you lied. You knew I would have never dated you. Oh, God! You set this up from the beginning!”

  “Stop this! Give me a chance to explain!”

  Sydney just stared at him. The elevator door opened, and Nolen extended his hand to her. Looking at his hand, then at him, she walked out, leaving him behind.

  Chapter 23

  Tears of Regret

  The ride back to Nolen’s penthouse was filled with silence. Sydney followed Nolen inside shedding the coat he bought her, vowing to never wear it again. She headed to his office. She had even forgotten to tell him that she agreed to move in with him. And it dawned on her; she had already done so, without much thought of the consequences. The driver dragged in their luggage. Nolen entered the room as she poured herself a glass of brandy at the bar, drinking it without acknowledging him.

  He stood in the doorway, watching her with his hands in his pockets, and she returned his stare coolly, turning the brandy snifter between her hands.

  “I’m sorry for not telling you about Trish,” he began.

  “Are you? Are you really, Nolen? Because I see that Todd is sorry, but you, I don’t see that you’re sorry at all.”

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  “It means that all you care about is you and your needs. You knew that my friend was with a man who could potentially hurt her, and you did nothing to prevent it. You didn’t even bother to clue me in.”

  “That’s not true,” he said, taking a step toward her. “I didn’t encourage that damned relationship. I told him to break things off.”

  Sydney glared at him over her brandy glass and then looked away.

  “How exactly was this supposed to end? You must have known that I would find out. Wait, I’ve got it.

  You were going to wait until our wedding night.”

  “That incident had nothing to do with us. Todd told me that he was going to take Trish to therapy and tell her there.”

  “And you didn’t find that odd?” Sydney shot back, slamming the glass down on the bar. “Take your girlfriend to therapy to tell her you tried to rape one of her best friends?”

  “He never tried to rape her, and you damn well know it.”

  “What I know is that you didn’t care how Trish handled the news or what happened to her. All you cared about was you. I remember the call that you made in the limo, when you got the news, and the look on your face.

  From the very beginning you played me. All that mattered was what you wanted! To hell with anything and anyone who got in your way.”

  “No, damn it! All I cared about was us! I’m sorry that your friend was hurt, and I’ve made damn sure that she won’t suffer another moment at that sick bastard’s hands, but there are only two people in this relationship—

  you and me!” He pointed from her to himself to highlight his point.

  “What relationship? I can’t trust you!”

  “Don’t go there, Sydney.”

  “Why not? It’s true! After everything we’ve shared, all the intimacy and the soul searching, you never once told me about Todd and Portia. You knew that I would find out, and you didn’t care how.” She started to walk away from the bar but stopped abruptly, looking at him w
ith a horrified expression.

  “My God, Portia and Ricky called it. They said I was naive. They said you were manipulating me way before I found out that it was true. I feel sick!”

  Nolen walked closer to her but said nothing.

  “You manipulated me from the start,” she repeated. “And you’ve never stopped.”

  “That’s not true. I’ve tried to protect you. Why do you think I did—” She backed away. “Did what?”

  “Never mind.”

  “Say it! What else did you do?”

  “I had Ben Mendoza taken care of. He hurt you and I made sure he paid for it. I would never let anyone hurt you and get away with it. What we have is real, and you can’t fight it any more than I can. I didn’t force you to fall in love with me. You did that all on your own.”

  She looked at him through her tears, thinking of the many times she had lain in his arms, believing that they were really connecting. Why did he have to ruin it all this way? “You told me you had nothing to do with Ben Mendoza’s attack.”

  “I lied.”

  “No shit!! The first night I met you, you said that you were used to getting what you wanted, and at that moment, you wanted me. It’s always been about having your way. What you did for Portia, and to Mr.

  Mendoza, it wasn’t helping. It was just getting me to be yours, only yours.”

  “You don’t believe that!”

  “Yes, I do! I asked you in Westmore how far you would go to get what you wanted, and you didn’t answer, but now I know!”

  “I love you, Sydney, and that’s not going to change. You love me, too, the good and the bad. Nothing has changed, butterfly.”

  “Don’t call me that. Things have changed. I can’t be with a man who respects nothing, who values nothing outside of his own needs.” She took a step toward the door.

  “Don’t do this,” he said, blocking her way.

  “I’m leaving.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything, from the first lie to the last. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for keeping things from you. Sydney, don’t do this.”

  “I don’t know who you are. You expect me to stay after what you did, after the way you betrayed my faith in you?” A few tears trickled down her cheeks.

  “Of course I do! I expect you to stay, to fight and scream all night! Then I expect you to let me back into your heart, allow me to wrap you up in my arms and tell you how much I’ve learned from all of this, how I’ve learned to think first with my heart, not my fear. Then I’ll take you to our bed and make love to you until every ounce of your doubt melts away, along with those tears. Then, we’ll move on, if you’ll just let me back in. If you can, just help me get us through this.”

  She looked at him incredulously. “It’s not that easy! You don’t know how to let people in, Nolen. You control every damn thing. I thought I could handle it, but that was before I discovered that you were controlling me too!”

  “So what? I love you, don’t you know that? Love is supposed to be enough, or was that just a lie you told me?”

  Sydney tried to walk around him. “It’s not!”

  Nolen grabbed her arm, forcing her back. “You don’t get to walk away! That won’t happen!”

  “You don’t own me,” she shouted, snatching her arm away. “I’m not one of your damn companies or whores! You can’t make me stay!”

  “Wait a damn minute!” Nolen shouted back. “We fight, and you run? What kind of bullshit is that? This isn’t over. I won’t let you destroy us over this! You swore you’d never leave me, Sydney!”

  “This isn’t my doing. It’s yours.”

  “The hell it is. Yes, I lied and manipulated and kept things from you, but what about you?”

  “What about me? I didn’t lie when I said I love you. Don’t you see how this is killing me?” In her desperation, she began pulling her own hair.

  Nolen began to pace in front of her. “I love you, and that’s enough. That’s more than enough. Why are we fighting over this? I never betrayed you. I was wrong, and I know that, but this is not some big deal-breaker here. It’s a fight. Damn it, Sydney, all couples fight!” He rubbed his eyes with his open hand as if trying to massage away the pressure. “You said you weren’t going anywhere. You said you would be with me, no matter what! You said you loved me, damn it!”

  Sydney shook her head. “Nolen, please. I do love you, but you don’t see anything wrong in what you did.

  You would do it again.”

  “You’re damned right I’d do it again. If I’d told you the truth about Todd, you’d never have gone out with me. I would never have had you. Admit it, damn it! We would never have discovered the best thing that’s happened to either of us. And Mendoza. What he did to you, what he does to girls like you. How could I sit back and not make him pay? You want me to apologize for it, and I won’t! If I had to do it all over again, I’d do it exactly the same way.”

  “What’s wrong with you?” She left the room.

  Nolen watched her leave, and the anger that gripped him made him want to punch the wall. He threw the desk lamp against the wall, shattering it, and pushed over the chair next to him. He couldn’t lose her. He wouldn’t live in loneliness again. She was everything in the world to him, and he’d fight with his dying breath to protect their love. He entered his office, he went after her, pushing open the door to the bedroom and catching her packing her things.

  “I’m leaving,” she said. “I can’t live with the man that you are. I’ll find a way to salvage what’s left of me!”

  “What the hell are you talking about? The man that I am? Since when did you give a shit about the man that I am?”

  She looked up with those questioning eyes and he wanted to shake her. “I was good enough for you, just hours ago, demons and all! I didn’t try to hide this incident in any way, and trust me, if I’d wanted to, I could have concealed it so you’d have never discovered the truth.” He snatched the bag from her hands and threw it across the room.

  “It’s not just the untold truth, Nolen. It’s you deciding that I didn’t deserve to know, controlling my feelings and my friend’s fate by hiding the facts from us. She could have died, and you stand in front of me, telling me you’d do it all again!”

  “It had nothing to do with us!”

  “Stop saying that! You’re wrong! She’s in the hospital, in a coma, and she may never recover. If I had known about Portia, if Trish had known about Todd, she wouldn’t have been so desperate to kill herself. Don’t you get that?”

  “I’m talking about us, me and you, Sydney.”

  “Well, there is no more us.”

  Nolen’s eyes filled with tears. “You’d leave me?” he asked, stunned.

  Sydney looked away. “I need some time to sort it all out. I just can’t think with you coming at me like this.”

  “In spite of everything we mean to each other, you’d walk out on me?” he asked, reaching to touch her face.

  Sydney recoiled. “Nolen, please don’t touch me."

  “You swore that I could believe in us,” he said, choking on his words. “You told me you weren’t going anywhere, and I’d never be alone again. You made me love you.” He advanced on her, touching the side of her neck.

  She glanced up at the ceiling to avoid meeting his eyes. “Don’t do this, Nolen. Stop. I need space, time to figure it out.”

  “We were supposed to have babies,” he said, looking down and touching her belly. “As many as your body could handle, remember? I said I didn’t want kids, but I do now. We can have kids if you want.” He pressed his face close to hers.

  Sydney burst into tears. “Stop it, Nolen! Damn it!”

  He brushed her lips with his, and when she turned her head away, he threw up his arm to prevent her escape. Placing his forehead against hers, he let the tears fall. “How do you expect me to let you walk out because of a misunderstanding?” He pushed her jacket apart to slip his hands inside and caress her curves.

 
“I want to go,” she said weakly, closing her eyes and crying with him.

  “You don’t,” he said, kissing her jaw.

  “Yes, I do.” She wiped her tears with her hand.

  Nolen began to kiss her neck tenderly, inhaling her scent and feeling her soft hair against his cheek. “Let me make love to you. Let me hold you. I swear I’ll make it better. You’ll understand. You’re just confused.”

  “Don’t,” she said again, pushing against his chest and knocking his roaming hands from her body.

  “Sydney, you love me. Look me in the face and tell me that you don’t. Tell me that what we share is worth being sacrificed over this.”

  Finally she did as he requested and he saw her weakening. It was all the permission he needed. He pushed her suit jacket from her arms, letting it fall free.

  Sydney shook her head. She opened her mouth to speak, but he slipped his tongue inside and ripped at her delicate blouse, popping the pearl buttons, then massaging her breasts through her bra.

  Grabbing his hair, she kissed him back as he pulled her from the wall and scooped her up in his arms, carrying her to the bed. Nolen laid her on the bed, feeling her claw at his buttons and working them loose through her kisses, trying to get him out of his shirt. He removed his belt as Sydney sat up, slipping off her blouse, which now hung open, then her bra. Kicking free of his pants, he slid his hand up her skirt, undoing the snaps at the top of her garter belt, then reaching for her panties and pulling them down her legs. He tossed them to the side and pushed the designer skirt he’d bought her up to her waist as he nibbled her neck. Forcing her thighs apart he pushed himself between her legs and entered her with a single thrust, he lifted his face from hers and saw that her tears hadn’t stopped during their lovemaking.

  “Say you won’t leave me,” he said.

  Apparently his command had made her change her mind. He grabbed her hands, putting them above her head. Sydney looked at him, shaking her head. She was crying silently again.

  “I won’t lose you to this,” he said. “You swore you were mine, and I’m holding you to that. Tell me you don’t love me, that you don’t want this. Tell me I’m wrong about you, that our love is a lie! Tell me to my face that you want me to leave you alone. Tell me, damn it!”