Before Sunrise Page 47

  “And? Now? What do you think?”

  “Dammit, Eric, don’t play me. I nearly killed a civilian. A fucking family! I don’t even know if it was a threat. I wasn’t supposed to walk out of that desert. I get that. I was prepared to meet my fate, made peace with it. Then Vasquez showed up and gave me something I wasn’t trained for, a second chance. And now? I got her back, man, and I can’t lose her again, not even for the cause. Not for the brotherhood. Not for anything.”

  “I understand.”

  Neither man spoke. Liam regulated his breathing and calmed his racing heart during the short reprieve. If it was a matter of national security, he knew his boy would make the tough call, just as Liam would if he were walking in Eric’s shoes. That’s who they were.

  “You’re sane, brother.” Eric began. “Of course we got eyes on you and the family.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I figured,” Liam said. “Still don’t explain what I saw at Fun World. Vasquez didn’t see shit. That was in my head. Alex and her cronies will get it out of me. So you see why this can’t go down.”

  “Liam, stop questioning your sanity. I don’t have to run it down for you. The stress, anxiety, night terrors…sure you see things.”

  “Right. I get it. I just got this feeling of dread and I can’t shake it. It’s like I’m going to wake up and be in that hole again. I know people question why he let me live. I got no answers for you. The sadistic bastard thought I was his pet. Today was the first day I could honestly say the shit I been through didn’t matter. And Kay, she believes in me, man. But sometimes….” Liam’s gaze went to the frost-covered window pane. He felt as if someone had poured ice cubes in his gut. He shivered hard. “I told Abrams I’d start seeing him right after the holiday. I think you’re right. He can help. Not no fucking military detail that will make me a pin cushion and squeeze my brain to shit. Maybe Abrams can put me on some meds. Something.”

  “There’s another way.”

  “Then tell me. What is it?”

  Eric didn’t answer. Liam paced a tight circle, silently praying that Eric would give him something to cling to. “I’m a dead man walking, right?” Liam said.

  “Not if you do what I tell you.”

  “Name it.”

  “You have to check yourself in for a 30-day eval with Dr. Abrams at the VA center—voluntary. We can leverage his diagnosis to cut you loose.”

  “Check in? Commit myself?”

  “Hear me out—”

  “Are all you fucking crazy?” he shouted in the phone. “Either I get dragged into another mission and leave my wife and kid behind or I check myself into a military psychiatric hospital for 30 days? You have got to be shitting me!”

  “You know how this works,” Eric said calmly.

  “No deal. Do you hear me? My answer is no!” He slammed the phone down. Liam closed his eyes. He tried counting backward, he tried focusing on the mental image of Mac’s smiling face, he tried thinking of pink bunny rabbits and yellow hippos. Nothing worked. He yanked the phone from the wall and threw it into the sink. Taking down deep breaths, he tried to steady himself. He wouldn’t lose his family again. He wouldn’t be separated from them. To hell with them all. He wouldn’t do it.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  “Merry Christmas happy birthday Everybody!” Mackenzie screamed as she ran through the house.

  Kennedy laughed. The place buzzed with holiday excitement. Liam and Mackenzie were a hit. He lifted their daughter in his arms and managed to walk her back into the den area, where the clown performed several magic tricks. He smiled once at her and she smiled back. Kennedy couldn’t ask for a more perfect day. Almost. She still had her mother to deal with. The temporary truce between them would hold for Mackenzie’s and Liam’s sakes. Then, after that, she was going to resolve her issues with her mother once and for all.

  “Mac’s having a ball,” Angelina said.

  “The girl has been hyper since she woke up. I’ve never seen her so excited.” Kennedy said, bringing out Mac’s favorite meal. They had about thirteen kids over to eat corn dogs and French fries, and a lot of grateful parents who had an excuse to drop them off and get a little peace in their day. She set the tray on the table and checked the time. It was close to two and Harper hadn’t arrived, nor had Phil. After the kids ate lunch they would do the cake, and sing. It was time for the adults to sit down to her festive meal as well.

  “Something wrong?” Angelina asked.

  “Where’s my sister?” Kennedy looked out to the living room, where Eric sat with her father and two other men—neighbors.

  “Call her.”

  “Good idea.” She turned for the kitchen when the door opened.

  Harper chirped, “Merry Christmas” and strutted in the door with her arms loaded with gifts. Behind her was a handsome young man. Very athletic, stocky, he wore a collegiate jacket and jersey with hood underneath. The door shut behind them and a silence fell over the room. In his hands he carried bags as well.

  Kennedy immediately searched for Eric’s reaction. His discomfort was all over the deep scowl he fixed on them both.

  “Merry Christmas, sis!” Harper gave her air kisses to both sides of her cheeks.

  “You’re late,” Gail stated from behind Kennedy.

  “Oh mama, I had to visit Jason’s family first. Jason, come here and meet my mother and sister.”

  “Merry Christmas to you both,” he said. “I’m Jason Maxwell.”

  Kennedy accepted the bags from his hands. “Welcome, Jason. It’s a little crazy. My baby’s birthday is today, too.”

  “I told him.” Harper handed her bags off to Gail then slipped her arm around Jason’s waist. She dropped her head on his shoulder. “Where is the munchkin?”

  “In the den,” Angelina said, looking Jason up and down.

  “C’mon Jason, you have got to meet her.”

  Kennedy and the others watched them go. When her head turned she saw Eric walk out the front door.

  “I didn’t know she was dating someone?” Angelina asked.

  “She wasn’t. I thought. Good grief, never mind. Let’s put these where the other gifts are.”

  It had snowed. The neighborhood looked as if fuzzy white fake fur had been poured over it. Eric paced outside of the front door. The cold didn’t bother him. His head was already splitting from the argument with Liam. He understood his friend’s pain. But Alexa had fucked him good. He didn’t share the agenda sweeping through the Senate right now, but Liam was at the heart of it. Once he accused Alexa of being in love with Liam. Maybe that had been true before the war. Since then, the cold-hearted bitch had fallen in love with power. Now what the fuck choice did he and Vasquez have? The world was different. So was the enemy. The rules of engagement had changed since Liam disappeared. He was splitting himself in half to try to help his friend. Why couldn’t Liam understand that? Vasquez even got called away on Christmas morning. No one belonged to their families, least of all themselves. They belonged to the cause.

  To make matters worse, Harper had arrived. Fuck, he’d been waiting to see her all morning. He was damn near pacing the floor worried because she was late. He'd screwed things up, couldn’t sleep a wink last night. Had to change the linens twice ’cause her scent was still in his fucking room. He had wanted to talk again, maybe talk his way through his deepening ache to possess her. He knew it was selfish. He never let a broad get her clutches in him. He had no taste for them young. Harper was different, though, and he planned to tell her. Then in she walks, dressed beautiful in a white sweater that hung off one shoulder and tight, faded blue jeans. Fuck, her chocolate stiletto boots were hot too. As soon as he heard her voice and saw her appear with that raven-dark hair, bangs cascading around her oval face, he couldn’t help but smile. That was until he spotted the punk kid behind her. So this is how she wants to play it? Tell me you can’t live without me last night and parade another man in front of me the very next day.

  “Fuck!”

  The ge
ntle purr of a car engine grew stronger and Eric lifted his gaze from the frozen grass. He watched Phil’s Mercedes park at the curb. What he didn’t expect to see was who rode shotgun.

  “What the fuck?”

  Alexa Sinclair opened the door and stepped out. She reached behind her and retrieved her purse and a nicely wrapped Christmas present. Phil hurried around the car and met her.

  Shaking his head, Eric marched across the lawn and met them before they approached the door. “What are you doing here?”

  Alexa smiled sweetly at him. “Merry Christmas, Commander Drake.”

  Eric shot Phil a glare. “Why did you invite her? Today of all days.”

  “Alexa is a friend, my date, and that’s my fucking house so I can invite anybody I damn well choose.”

  Eric narrowed his gaze on him, then her. “You heard from the vice president’s chief-of-staff?”

  “Congratulations.” She gave a curt salute.

  “He’s under my command now.”

  “Is he?” Alexa smirked. Eric felt a renewed strain move through his clenched fist and up his right arm as he repressed the urge to grab her throat and snap her pretty neck. Alexa tossed her auburn locks and blinked her sky-blue eyes at the house. “Does Liam know about our trip tomorrow to the White House?”

  “Don’t start anything, Alexa. I mean it. I’m on to you and Clayton.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it.” She winked, then walked around him with Phil. He watched them head up the walk. Eric cursed again under his breath and followed. He had no other choice.

  ***

  “Daddy, you’re so funny!” Mackenzie squeezed Liam’s neck. Her sweet breath, reminiscent of cherry soda, blew in his face. He hugged her tighter and bit her cheek. Mackenzie let go a burst of giggles that had her kicking her feet and swinging her tiny fists.

  “Time to eat. They can’t start without you.” He calmed her down and set her on her feet.

  “Okay!” She helped him from his chair. The twins and a few neighboring kids raced out of the back room. All had gathered to watch his magic trick, as he made any small objects they could find, mostly coins, disappear up his sleeve and out of his hands. Liam had spent the afternoon trailing his daughter and playing with the kids, effectively avoiding the others crowded through the house. It was a good, solid plan and before long his frustrated anger over what Eric had told him began to ebb away.

  Liam rose to his feet and grabbed his cane. Children surged through the den, bowling over the gathering adults. He never understood why adults without children gathered at kid’s parties. Too many stood around with cups of eggnog, hot chocolate or wine—a sea of bubbling faces. The loud chatter with pockets of isolated conversations was deafening. He felt his chest tighten with anxiety. When he was chained to a wall and kept from humanity he’d felt claustrophobic, crowded. It was the suffocation that made him rage inwardly. Now he forced himself to adjust.

  “Mind over bullshit, mind over bullshit,” he repeated, squeezing his eyes shut and then opening them again. Liam recognized this stressor. Mentally he checked himself and found the strength to back down his anxiety.

  The room blurred then returned to focus and the first pair of interested eyes he perceived were Alex’s. Imperatives disguised as choices ruled his senses suddenly and he made a move to throw her out on her ass. But he stopped cold. Phil stepped to her right and dropped his arm around her shoulder. He spoke to Andrew, then to Kennedy, who glared at them both with her arms crossed.

  What the hell is this about? They came together? You have got to be shitting me. He shifted his weight on his cane, and held back. No matter what, he would not lose his cool today. He smelled the setup and it had a rotten stench to it. They wanted to break him, both of them. Well fuck that. He wouldn’t let his daughter’s day go up in flames because he couldn’t handle the stress. He would not play into Alexa’s hands. But even as he made the silent vow, he worried.

  “The kids are enjoying Mackenzie’s birthday lunch. I want to invite all the adults to the dining room to join us. Please everyone, come in and find a seat,” Gail announced with Sally at her side.

  Kennedy had set a huge table with a Christmas feast. The kids were busy at smaller tables enjoying their special meal. His wife drifted to him and leaned up to kiss his cheek. She smiled at their guests. “We have a lot to celebrate this Christmas morning. Our daughter is—”

  “Five!” Mackenzie shouted from her small table.

  Many people laughed. Liam hugged Kennedy from behind and kissed her neck. She wiggled in his hold but made no other move to escape it. “Yes, she’s five today. After we eat we will all sing Happy Birthday.” Kennedy turned in his arms. “Go sit Liam, and entertain our guests. I got to help mom and Sally with the food.”

  “No babe, sit with me.”

  “I’ll come join you. Go on.”

  He popped her on her fanny as she sashayed off. Resolved to the task of being the man in the house, he followed the stream of adults heading to the dining room. Alex had found a way to get close him. He wasn’t sure when, but she was at his side in a flash. “Merry Christmas, Liam.”

  “Same to you Alex.” He ground out through clenched teeth. “Surprised you’re here. With Phil?”

  She blinked at him innocently. “I wouldn’t miss this holiday. You’re home. And I, for one, can’t get over the miracle.” She placed a hand to his arm. Liam narrowed his eyes on her and she let her hand fall away.

  “Let’s get one thing straight. I’m on to you. I heard of your little plot to drag me in. Not going to fucking happen.”

  “Careful of your tone Liam. I expect respect.”

  “Well fuck respect. I’m not under your command. This is my daughter’s day. You watch your step, and don’t upset my wife.”

  Alex nodded. “Of course. I wouldn’t dream of it.”

  As he took his seat he felt the heat from Kennedy’s glare. Alexa made herself comfortable in the chair next to him; Kennedy arrived in time to witness the seating arrangement. She lowered the final serving of roasted chicken to the table and was forced to sit across from them with Phil on her left. Liam tried to smile at her, but the sourpuss face she gave made the effort awkward. He considered forcing Alex to change seats with his wife, but the festive cheer from others be interrupted and all focus would be centered on them. Not wanting to come off as jealous or territorial, he swallowed the urge and hoped the meal wouldn’t last long.

  Liam tried to join in the conversation at the table. He answered a few questions from people he didn’t know and ignored the smug look of satisfaction on Phil Freeman’s face when neighbors greeted him as the man of the house.

  Andrew gave prayer. The adults eased into the meal, and Liam swallowed down his sweetheart’s cooking, barely tasting it. Christmas dinner dragged on. Soon Liam began to notice the discomfort of his friend. Eric couldn’t take his eyes off Harper, who made a big show of her affections for her new boyfriend. His sister-in-law went as far as trying to feed the guy from her plate. Phil and Kennedy kept speaking to each other in clipped whispers. It was evident the conversation upset her, which in turn pissed Liam off. Alex had tried to engage Liam in friendly banter, but each time she spoke, Sally pounced on her. His mother had taken an immediate dislike to her presence next to her son and everyone on the south end of the dining table was witness to it. Through it all Liam maintained his cool.

  When the meal ended, Mackenzie was in his arms once more, whiny and lethargic. He could tell she was tired of all the commotion, even in her honor. In his arms she settled, staring at the smiling faces of children and adults that tried to speak to her. Liam had to admit his daughter had no problem allowing him into her life. He wondered if all children had a natural draw to their biological parent? He wouldn’t dare test his theory by passing her off to Phil, though he caught him staring at Mackenzie often, smiling her way.

  The day had been a great one. The best medicine was Christmas through his daughter’s eyes. He couldn’t wait to sing Happ
y Birthday with her. Her happiness melted his heart. He considered giving her his present then, but decided he’d make his gift to her the very last one she opened.

  “Liam, it’s time for everyone to sing to Mackenzie. Come on, sweetheart.” Sally coaxed her from his lap. He let her go. He rose and stood behind her with his arm around Kennedy while the chorus rang out through the room. Mackenzie seemed to have gotten her second burst of energy. She blew out the candles and grinned at everyone. Soon after the celebration died down, Gail and Sally cut and dispersed cake to the kids.

  Liam slipped from the circling crowd. Dragging his leg, he headed for the bathroom.

  “Can I talk to you?” Alex stepped in his path.

  “Not now. I’m in no mood.” He grimaced.

  “It’s important.”

  He had to admit she hadn’t changed much. Alex had a chameleon-like ability to adapt to her surroundings. Neither his mother’s nor Kennedy’s heated glares deterred her. She met his stare dead on, never blinking or averting her eyes. A seductive smile curled along her pouty pink lips. Why was she so damn calculating? What the hell did she want?

  “What is it?” he demanded.

  “It’s you. I’m worried about you. Everyone wants to coddle you, treat you like less than a man, fearing you’ll break. But I know better, Liam. I know how strong you are. Let me help.” She moved in closer.

  “I don’t need your help, Alex. Never did.”

  “I think you might. Take, for instance, your wife.” She turned her gaze to the front of the room and Liam followed her line of vision. Kennedy and Phil walked out of the front door—together. “She’s not being honest with you.”

  “What did you say?” He grabbed Alex’s arm and snatched her away from listening ears.

  “I said she’s not being honest with you.” She shook off his grip.

  He released her when he saw the look Eric and Angelina gave him.

  “What are you talking about?” he seethed.