Out of Time: A Military Romance Read online

  They were at one of those gas stations with a mini-mart. She looked around and didn't see Ice. Immediately she began to search the truck. If she had enough time to digest his news she wouldn't have been so rash. To walk away from her commitments without even her cell phone was ludicrous. Yes, she wanted to help him. No, she didn't want to do it this way. She felt tricked.

  Asha slammed the glove compartment shut. Ice walked back toward the car. She stared at him. He looked healthy. Tall, strong, as physically fit as he had always been. Was it a lie? God, she prayed it was a lie. Ice was many things, many things, but a liar wasn't one of them.

  He wore his skull cap pulled down on his head. His grey eyes pierced her through the windshield. She was the first to look away. He walked over to the truck and opened the door. He got inside.

  "Hungry?" he asked.

  "Where are we?"

  Ice opened his Gatorade. He took down deep swallows. He screwed the cap on. "We're in Provence Town. Highway 6. We aren't far."

  "Far from where you stay?" she asked.

  "That's right," he said.

  "Let me guess. It's near the water."

  Ice smiled. He winked and started his truck. The darkness swallowed them once they returned to the highway. She felt the cold even more so here than in New York. They were traveling close to the sea. And the snow falling just made her chills spread through her bones.

  "Why here?"

  "Not sure. Remember Pete? He was one of my swimmers on my old crew."

  "Yes, I remember him."

  "He's part of the Cape Cod Light House Association. He needed a keeper for the Race Point Light Station. I agreed to do it. I needed someplace to clear my head."

  "How long have you been out here?" She squinted out of the window. There were no stars to be seen. Everything beyond her window was black.

  "A couple of months. It's nice enough, for us," he said.

  She glanced over to him. "What do you think is going to happen, Ice? We're going to have some kind of Christmas reunion and then kiss each other bye so you can die with a clear conscience?" Her voice cracked with emotion.

  "No, baby. It's... I remember when it changed. Do you?"

  She shrugged.

  "That night. I got the call. The night me and Thatch... the night it all went wrong and he..."

  "Died, yes, I remember," she said.

  "It's not Thatch that changed us. His death had its effect on me, yes. But I'm the one who gambled with our marriage."

  She looked over at him. He glanced over at her. He had her attention. He tried to swallow his anxiety and stay the course. "I lied to you. That's when I fucked up. Really fucked up with you. And I can't take that back."

  "Lied?" She frowned.

  "I told you I wasn't going to re-enlist."

  Asha sighed. "I knew that lie."

  "You knew it?"

  "If you hadn't had that accident during that rescue I would have given you my gift. I was going to accept a job in Providence. To be close to you. So you could stay in the USCG and I could start a family for us."

  "You never said that!"

  "I never got a chance. You were in the hospital for weeks. And then there was physical therapy. And then came your anger and hatred for me."

  "Never. I hated myself. Not you," he mumbled.

  "Ah, ah, ah," she waved a finger. "We're telling the truth now. You don't get to rewrite history to fit your story. You flat out told me I was suffocating you, you couldn't stand to hear my voice. You told me to go to hell so many times..."

  "Asha?"

  "Do you say those things to all the women you love?"

  "I'm sorry."

  "Not good enough. I tried to be there for you but you pushed me back to New York. Rather let the military be your wife, or your anger. Take your pick. I tried to talk to you but you would ignore me. Or start a fight with me over the smallest thing. For two years that was our life. And by the time I landed my first job, you weren't my husband anymore. And that hurt even worse."

  He sighed with regret. The truck veered off the road and started over an unpaved one. She could see the lighthouse. There were two log cabins near it. The closer they got, the more majestic it looked in the moonlight.

  "This is it," he said and parked.

  She wiped her tears and forced herself to remain calm. Ice was out of the car. He opened her door. He extended his hand.

  "Come inside with me. Please."

  She nodded and accepted his hand. He helped her out of the truck. Together they walked hand in hand to the door. She was still so angry with him. But she wasn't crazy enough to dismiss the blessing she had received. He was alive. And he was there. For the first time in years, she really felt like he wanted to be. The emotions in her were too complicated for her to name.

  He opened the door. And she stepped inside. There were lights. He'd done a good job with stringing them up from the ceiling and taping them down the walls. Blinking Christmas lights twinkled. And she saw a tree. Ice never decorated the tree when they were married. That was her job. But he'd taken the task seriously.

  "Not real, it's a fake tree. But I think it looks really good," he said.

  She shook her head. "You didn't get the memo. I don't do Christmas anymore."

  "No, I didn't get that memo. And it's not Christmas Eve yet."

  She walked over the tree and saw the gifts with his name and hers. She laughed. "You bought yourself gifts?"

  "I figured I knew best what I wanted. Don't worry. They're from you."

  "Gee, thanks."

  He went to an iPod and put it on a speaker stand. He turned on Christmas music. He was intent on giving it his best shot.

  "The phone? I need to use your phone," she said.

  "I don't have one."

  "Stop it. I know you have a phone! Where is it?"

  Ice shrugged off his jacket. He worked his arm as if it were sore. When he rotated it, his chest expanded. Even under his turtleneck sweater he looked fit. "I don't have a phone. Don't need one out here. When I want to use one, I go into the lighthouse."

  "I told you. I can't just be cut off this way."

  "Fine, in the morning I'll take you up to the lighthouse to use the phone. Promise. Okay?"

  She sighed. She rubbed her arms and paced.

  "Are you cold?"

  "A little," she said. She sat on the sofa. He went to the fireplace and started to toss in logs. She sat there staring at him. "You still wear your grandmother's rosary?" she asked.

  "Yeah. It's good luck." He kissed it. "Said a prayer that I would be bringing you home. It worked."

  "How long have you been planning this?" she asked.

  He lit a match and tossed it in with the kindling. "A month. Been in New York for almost two weeks looking for you."

  "You have?" she asked. "You know where I work. Why wait two weeks?"

  "Yes. I was staking out Ralphie's. My plan went bad."

  "It's Starbucks... wait, you were in Starbucks? Today?"

  The fire began to blaze. He looked back at her. "I saw you walk in. You're all beautiful and sophisticated now. You were on your phone at first. When I tried to walk over to you Mr. Dark and Handsome came in." Ice looked at his hand. "Spilled my coffee on my hand I was so pissed off to see him touch you." He looked up at her again. "Kiss you."

  "You have the nerve to be jealous?"

  "That's where I met Sharla. Turns out God was jealous too. He chose my side. Sharla was the one that got me a badge into your office. And then—well, you know the rest."

  He stood. It was like he grew into the giant she knew him to be. "Let me show you our room," he said.

  "Our room? This place has more than one room, doesn't it?"

  "No. It doesn't." Ice smiled. "We're roommates."

  Asha looked at the sofa and then at him. The sofa wasn't big enough for her. She knew he couldn't sleep on it.

  "Don't worry. We have separate beds."

  "You just thought of everything, didn't you?" she as
ked.

  "My Christmas wish, remember?" he said.

  She stood and walked toward the stairs. She went up and he was right behind her. The room was loft-sized and in it was a queen bed and top and bottom bunk beds.

  "This is it?"

  "This is home. I cleaned it up." He went over to the door. He opened it. "Bathroom. I got that Caress soap I know you like. Closet. I brought some things for you."

  "Very funny," she said.

  "You tired? Hungry? Want something to drink?"

  Asha put her hands to her head. "I have a headache. I'm not sure why I'm here. I don't know what I'm doing, Ice. Not with you, not anymore."

  "You know why you are here. You never do anything you don't want to," he said.

  She glanced back at him. "And neither do you."

  He nodded. "Still angry with me?"

  "I left anger a year ago. Try indifferent."

  "And love? Can we try that?"

  "I only came here with you because I don't want anything to happen to you."

  "That's not indifferent," Ice smiled.

  "No. It's compassion. I’d do the same thing for a dog."

  Ice chuckled.

  "But love? Feel it? For me? For us?" he asked.

  "No," she said.

  He smiled.

  "I mean it. I'm not in love with you anymore."

  He nodded. "That's right. You're indifferent with the compassion you'd give to a dog. I'm going to fix you something to eat."

  "I'm tired. I just want to freshen up and go to bed. When I get up in the morning I want to use the phone. I'm not comfortable, Ice. I don't know if I can do this."

  He walked over to her. She looked up at him as she sat on the edge of the bed. "You don't think. You just feel. But if you wake up in the morning and this is not for you, if you want to go home, I'll get in that truck and drive you back to New York. On my honor, baby. No games."

  She nodded.

  "We came this far. Can we go a little farther?"

  "Okay, Ice. If you say so."

  He smiled. "If we say so."

  14.

  Asha lay on the bed. Sleep came and went. She turned to her side and opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was Ice. He was on the bottom bunk. His arm was thrown over his eyes. He looked as if he were resting. She wondered if he was in pain. She wondered if there was an option for a cure. Did he try for one? Could it be possible? She had money. Lots of it. She could get him the best doctors in the country.

  Ice, however, was stubborn. It would take a lot to convince him to let her foot that kind of bill. And she couldn't just let him die. She'd do whatever she could to make sure he survived. She pulled aside the covers. She wore his shirt and her panties. She looked down at herself. She then looked to him on the bottom bunk. He barely fit in the bed, but he seem comfortable. She smiled.

  Asha reached down and drew up the edges of the shirt up then over her head and tossed it to the floor. Now in nothing but her panties, she walked over to his bed. Ice was a light sleeper. Being a Lt. Commander had made him that way. His arm came down and he squinted up at her.

  "It's Christmas Eve. Our anniversary." she said.

  He stared at her as if he didn't hear her at first. Then he moved the cover and scooted over. Asha sucked in a deep breath and then eased in under the covers with him. She was barely under them before he touched her. His hands were cold. She shivered. He squeezed her breast and kissed her neck.

  "I want you, so bad. I missed you so much," he whispered in her ear. He pulled down her panties and she closed her eyes. She let him take them off. He then rolled on top of her. She parted her thighs. It must have taken seconds for his dick to get hard. She could feel his erection, and it was as thick and intimidating as she remembered. Asha opened her eyes and looked into his. She was so scared. So very scared. He was so close to her heart at that moment she had no choice but to lower the barrier it took two years to build and let him in. Giving him her body was the least of her concerns. Her only concern at the moment was him. Finding a way to heal and save him.

  "Is it okay? If we do this?" she asked.

  The corner of his mouth tipped up. He stared at her so intensely she couldn't blink. And then he thrust into her. Asha’s lids fluttered. He pushed into her, deeper and deeper strokes. And her body and heart simultaneously accepted the invasion. Instead of gripping the sheets, she slowly lifted her hands and put them on his back.

  "Asha," he sighed and dropped his face to the side of hers. He reached beneath her ass to cup and separate her buttocks. She wrapped her legs higher around his waist. She gripped his hips to slow his passion. It barely worked. His lips dragged across her cheek to her mouth. His silky tongue rimmed the edges of his teeth before delving inside. Skin to skin, belly to belly, he moved in and out of her with such sexual precision that her body took over her and all doubts were snuffed out.

  "I love you baby, so much," Ice breathed. He snatched the covers from them so he could see her in the dark. Ice lifted on his hands as if he were doing push-ups and looked down at himself going in and out of her. Just like the old days. His head went back and the muscles cording his neck and down his shoulders to his biceps all strained as he summoned restraint.

  "Do me," she said. "Ice, fuck me."

  He hooked her legs over his arms and pushed them down and back. Ice's cock surged and he power drilled into her with unrelenting force. Asha gripped his face. She held it in her hands and she kissed and ravished his mouth with the same passion Ice fucked her. She was rocked by the strength of his motions and the power of a love that had never left between them. He dropped on her but kept her thighs pinned down. His ass cheeks tightened and his hips rolled as he turned from beast to lover and gave her the strokes to draw out the twining tightness of her climax. Asha cried out. She was chanting his name: Kevan. She said it over and over again until her release.

  He let go of his will and released into her. They both collapsed in exhaustion.

  "I love you," he panted. "Fuck! I never stopped."

  "I know," she said.

  Ice turned on his side. Asha lay on her back, staring up at the base of the top bunk. "Asha?" He turned her cheek to force her to look at him. "I love you."

  Asha nodded and bit back her tears. "I'll give you everything this Christmas, anything you want from me. If you give me one thing," she said.

  "Tell me. I'll do it."

  She began to cry. "Give me hope. Tell me you're not going to die." She turned over into his arms and he held her. She wept against his chest.

  "Do you remember our first kiss?" he asked her.

  She didn't answer.

  "I knew it then. I never believed in love at first kiss, but I believed it now. You're the only woman for me. Not for the sex. For this. For you teaching me the difference, helping me find my heart."

  Asha sniffed. She lifted her face from his chest. She looked up at him. "You hurt me. So bad."

  "I'm sorry," he said.

  "I know. I know, and I love you," she wept.

  "Happy Anniversary," he said.

  Chapter Six

  Past - 9:45 P.M. December 24, 2008

  Port Smith, Rhode Island

  "Tiffany? Slow down. It's dark out here."

  "Relax, Asha. I've driven this road many times."

  "Have you driven it blindfolded?" Asha asked.

  Tiffany laughed. "Trust me." She shifted gears. The road had natural curves and bends and Tiffany did seem to know them by heart. Still, there was nothing around them but darkness. Asha gripped the inside door handle of the Jeep. She strained to see beyond the headlights’ reach. They'd left civilization and other cars behind. She had to trust her friend. Asha decided to shift her focus. She turned from the pop music station to an R&B song from their favorite artist Usher. Tiffany looked over at her, ready to object.

  "I'm so grateful to your family for letting me stay with you during the holidays. My mom is calling me every five minutes and asking if I said thank you." Asha held
up her cell phone and showed it to Tiffany. "See, that's her calling now."

  "Your mom's cool. But please don't answer her calls. I want to have fun tonight. She has a way of..."

  "What?" Asha smiled. She fished into her purse and dug out one of her favorite butterscotch candies.

  "Of bringing out the church girl in you," Tiffany laughed.

  "Oh please. The church girl is always in me. And yes, I get it from my mama!"

  "Hallelujah!" Tiffany said and hit the steering wheel. Asha laughed. "I told you, it's no big deal. Besides, if you hadn't agreed to come I would have been bored out of my fucking mind." Tiffany popped her gum and shifted gears so her Jeep surged to a faster speed on the dark road.

  "Where is this party?" Asha sat forward and strained to see ahead of them. The winter clouds had parted. She could see some of the moon and blinking markers out at sea. "Is it in the ocean? How long does this road go on for?"

  Tiffany laughed.

  "I'm serious, Tiff."

  "You are so jumpy. Even if I told you where we were going and what roads we are taking, you wouldn't know anything. Just relax. I don't think I've ever seen you let loose. Tell me something, Asha, are you still a virgin?"

  "A what?!" Asha smiled.

  "I knew it!" Tiffany smiled.

  "When do I have time? When do you have time for sex? This semester is crazy."

  "There is always time for sex, honey."

  "So this is a sex party?" Asha teased.

  "Very funny. My point is we have until the New Year to be free. So shake it off, have fun, forget about school and your parents and church. Just relax. Trust me, you will see so many hot guys tonight, you won't have a choice."

  "Out here? In the middle of nowhere?"

  "We are headed to Port Smith. The coast. There's an outpost out there. We can stay at a friend’s place tonight."

  "Wait..."

  "He's cool, Asha."

  "I didn't agree to that!"

  "I agreed for you," Tiffany smiled.

  "But what about your parents? They expect us home."

  "My mom is cool, and my dad ignores me. Besides, do you want to drive at three in the morning on this road after I've been drinking?"