Before Sunrise Page 42

  “Wait. Please.” Kennedy pressed her hand to his chest. “Can you take Eric with you? I don’t want you driving around alone on Christmas Eve. The roads are bad. Do it for me? Please.”

  He was hurting her, he was hurting his kid, and he wished he wasn’t. Kennedy put her hand around his neck and drew his face to hers. She kissed him. “I understand, I do, but we need you. So take Eric and come back. Okay? Just a quick drive before dinner, then I’ll go home with you. I’ll stay with you all night, wake up Christmas morning with you. Deal?”

  He didn’t want to agree, but he had little choice. He looked into Mackenzie’s eyes and knew it. “I love you both. I’m sorry I’m so raggedy with this. I’m trying, Kay.”

  “Don’t explain. I understand.”

  “Eric!” Liam called, walking to the door. “Let’s go, brother.”

  He made it to the door without Kennedy stopping him. And though he knew she would have to answer questions about his leaving to their parents, he didn’t care. Space was the only defense he had now. The only way he was sure he could protect her and Mackenzie—from him.

  “I want to talk to you.” Kennedy slammed the door.

  Harper turned the page of her magazine. She was propped against the pillows on Kennedy’s bed with her shoes off and ankles crossed.

  “Now, Harper.”

  “What is it?”

  Kennedy marched over and snatched the magazine from her sister’s hand. She tossed it to the other side of the room. “Explain that scene you caused with Liam downstairs?”

  “Me? He was the one yelling.”

  “He left. What did you say to him?”

  Harper turned toward the window. “Did Eric leave too?”

  “What did you say, damn it?”

  “Nothing!” Her sister shouted back. “I just tried to talk to him. Explain things. I didn’t mean to make him leave. Geesh, I came upstairs so I wouldn’t make him upset.”

  “What things?”

  “Stop yelling at me.”

  “You answer me now,” Kennedy said.

  “I wanted to talk to him about Eric. I asked him to give us a chance. “

  “Damn it.” Kennedy walked away from the bed. She crossed her arms in front of her. Harper wasn’t the real issue. She felt it the moment they entered the door. Liam was miserable.

  “I’m sorry. I only wanted to smooth things over with him. Eric said he would fix things, but since he’s been here he hasn’t spoken more than two words to me. He avoids me around the family. Then touches me when we’re alone. I don’t want it to be that way. Why can’t you and Liam understand?”

  “No one cares!” Kennedy yelled. “This isn’t about you. I swear I wish you and mama would just stop thinking about yourselves for one second and see what he’s been through. This is his first Christmas home. He’s trying to adjust and you two keep acting like he owes you something.” Kennedy closed her eyes. “I should have called the whole thing off, took my baby and spent Christmas with him alone. I just, I thought we could heal together as a family. Stupid me. Nothing I do or say can make him whole again.”

  “Kennedy, it’s not your job to fix him. We fight, that’s what a family does. I’m sorry for the drama. I love Liam. You know I do. I just want his approval. Look, I apologize.” Harper crossed the room, she threw her arms around Kennedy and tried to hug her, but she shrugged her off.

  “When he comes back you keep your mouth shut.” She walked out.

  She decided to call Phil and tell him to not come for dinner. It was best he wait to join them Christmas day. She was doing her very best to manage the drama, and so far she was failing.

  ***

  “Where we going, man?” Eric dropped the seat back further and pulled his cap down over his brow. Liam eased his foot off the gas. The roads were slick with black ice. He could feel Maxine’s wheels lock and the car glide every few miles. They passed empty parking lots of grocery stores and mini-marts.

  “Nowhere. This was a bad idea. Everything’s closed. You could’ve hung back. I just needed air.” He cut his eyes over. Was Eric lying to him about ending things with Harper? He and his friend didn’t deal in lies, but he couldn’t help but wonder. He told many lies in order to have Kennedy.

  “Roadhouse is open. We can grab a beer there.” Eric shrugged.

  “You cool with that?”

  “I don’t care. I’m just glad my ass isn’t stuck somewhere with a hotel menu.”

  “Yeah, I can understand that.” Liam made the next turn. The Roadhouse wasn’t far. A few lights ahead. He knew servicemen without families to go home to would pile inside and commiserate through the holidays. It was almost blasphemous for him to do the same. Leaving Kay and his little girl patiently waiting for him to step up and be the father and husband they deserved. He wasn’t ungrateful, or unappreciative. He really did love the idea of spending Christmas with Mackenzie. But he hated hurting her, losing his cool. He couldn’t trust himself. The thought occurred once again that he should man up and turn the car around. Liam blew out a deep breath. “I’m driving her crazy, Eric. She pretends it’s okay, but I keep letting her down.”

  “You aren’t letting her down, bro. You’re adjusting.”

  “Yeah well, so is she. I came back and turned her life inside out. I need to do something for her, something to let her know I appreciate her. She deserves a break from all my bullshit.”

  “It’s Christmas. You buy her something?”

  “Yeah, I did.” Liam smiled. He parked next to a line of motorcycles. “Wait, who is this? The Devil’s Angels? The Bobcats?”

  Eric scoffed. “Nah, probably the Dark Riders. They’ve moved in from Virginia. Been stirring up trouble since they arrived. Fuck it. When was the last time we mixed it up?”

  Liam shook his head. “I can’t get into a bar fight, man. I’m not a hundred percent, remember? Besides, you’re up for an appointment.”

  Eric shrugged. “Won’t be any trouble. We can just get some beers, shoot some pool, then leave. You game?”

  Liam thought of Kennedy at home, waiting for him. The right thing to do would be to turn around and go back to Phil’s damned house and suffer through it. If he had any balls, he would. He stared at the front of the bar. A biker came crashing through the door, laughing, talking on his cell phone. Why was it Roadhouse felt more welcoming than his wife’s home?

  “You in?” Eric asked.

  “Yeah. Let’s do it.”

  ***

  “So where is he?” Gail asked.

  “Not now, mama.” Kennedy spread the thick cream cheese frosting over the top layer of the cake. She’d stashed the carved candy Disney princess in the fridge, ready to go on the top. Angie called and said she’d found the perfect candles to put around it. “Where’s Mackenzie?”

  “Sally has her, but who knows for how long.”

  “I’m almost done,” Kennedy muttered.

  “It’s Christmas Eve. Where is he?” Her mother pressed on.

  She sighed. “Will you ever cut him some slack?”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “You heard me, mama. You barely said two words to him during breakfast. You keep needling me every chance you get about Phil being excluded, and now Liam’s gone and you want to complain about that, too?”

  “I just, I only meant—”

  “Stop it, okay. Stop it now or pack up and just go.” Kennedy tossed the knife in the sink.

  Her mother blinked away her hurt. She opened her mouth to say something else and Kennedy was ready for it. Gail removed her apron, dropped it on the countertop and promptly walked out. Alone, Kennedy exhaled a sad sigh. Dinner would be ready in an hour. Where could Liam and Eric have gone? When the phone rang, her head was so clouded with her own fears and doubts she didn’t think she had the strength to answer. Eventually she reached for it. “Hello?”

  “I got your message,” Phil said dryly.

  “Oh, hi. Thanks for calling me back.”

  “Why didn’t you r
eturn my call?” Phil snapped.

  “What?”

  “Don’t tell me, your precious Liam didn’t bother to tell you I’ve been trying to reach you? Why am I not surprised?”

  “Phil—”

  “We need to talk, Kennedy. I’ve had it. I swear I was going to try it your way. Not because I agreed with you, but because I love you. I’d do anything for you. But you don’t care, you never cared, and now my kid is at risk. No more games.”

  “Where is this coming from? Kid? What games am I playing?” Kennedy walked away from the front of the kitchen, closer to the fridge. She lowered her voice. “Today isn’t the day for this, damn it. I think you should come tomorrow afternoon for Christmas dinner, to wish Mac a happy birthday. I won’t have you over here acting like this.”

  “You won’t have me? It’s my fucking house!”

  “Fine! Would you like us out of it?”

  The phone went silent. Kennedy shook her head. “Can we put all of our problems aside for Christmas? Whatever it is that has you this angry, can it wait another day? If not for me, for your daughter?”

  “So she’s mine now?”

  “You know what I mean. She’s your step-daughter, and she loves you. Mac needs us to be grown-ups and work this out.”

  “I’m bringing a date to Christmas dinner.”

  “A date?” Kennedy frowned.

  “You have a problem with that?”

  She closed her eyes. “Maybe you shouldn’t come. I don’t want any drama.”

  “There won’t be. I figure if you can move on so quickly, so should I.” He hung up on her.

  Kennedy rolled her eyes. When did things between her and Phil take a turn for the worse? There was no baby, they’d talked, they’d agreed to be civil. She thought at the very least they understood each other. Now he was angry because Liam didn’t tell her about a phone call. And he was dating? It made no sense.

  “Everything okay, sweetheart?” Andrew asked.

  Kennedy turned and looked to her father. “I think I’m losing my mind, daddy.”

  Andrew chuckled. “Nonsense.”

  “I don’t know what I’m doing half the time. She turned and looked at her daughter’s cake. One minute I’m so happy I can’t take it and the next minute I’m so damn angry I want to scream. And Liam? I want to tell him to snap out of it. That it’s time to get over his insecurities and be my husband again. Not doubt me or run away when things get uncomfortable. But that’s wrong and selfish, right? So I try to make it better by being nice, sweet, loving, and holding my tongue. When it’s not fair to either of us. I lost him, daddy. I was in hell, too. Not like what he went through, of course, but still. I couldn’t get out of bed without medicating myself. I couldn’t hold my baby for a year without crying. I need him here, dammit, because I’m so scared…I can’t lose him again. I won’t survive it.” Kennedy choked down her tears. “But if I say that then I’m putting too much pressure on him. I can’t keep this up.”

  Andrew touched his daughter’s back. She hung her head and shook it sadly. “He should be here. I don’t care if it makes him uncomfortable. It’s our Christmas Eve and he walked out. I’m mad at him.”

  “Tell him. Be honest with him.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Kennedy, look at me.”

  She turned and looked at her father. She always loved his eyes. They were so kind and understanding. Even when she hurt him, she could see forgiveness, not judgment in their depths. There was no one as loving as her daddy.

  “You can’t fix Liam. You can’t erase what he’s been through, but you can’t treat him any different than you did before he left. You have to be honest with him. Okay?”

  “I don’t want to fight with him. I just want to love him.”

  Andrew nodded. “Liam’s a tough guy. I think he can handle some honesty. Especially from you.”

  “Maybe he could, but my need to protect him, even from my feelings, is so strong. It’s instinctive, daddy.”

  “Honesty is the only way, kiddo. Try it.”

  She smiled. “Thanks for listening.”

  “No problem. Now what about this cake? What can I do?”

  Kennedy laughed, remembering how much of a disaster her father was in the kitchen. He and Liam were the same on that score. “Nothing. Go keep mama busy. I’ll finish in here.”

  Andrew kissed her forehead and left. Kennedy stared at the cake. She lifted her eyes to the kitchen clock. Liam should be back soon. After dinner they would talk. She would try.

  ***

  “Scratch!” Eric called.

  “To hell with that. I made that shot.”

  Eric shook his head. Liam smirked. He pulled out his wallet and tossed another twenty on the table. “At this rate I’ll have to take out a second mortgage on your place to break even.”

  “Just pay up.”

  Liam was on his fourth beer. He had that numb, careless feeling all through his bones. The game of pool had begun less than an hour ago. They’d spent most of their time at the bar drinking and laughing with enlisted men from the base. Time just crept away from them. He knew they should end things and head back. Dinner would be served soon.

  “Need to ask you a question,” Liam said.

  “Go ’head.”

  “Harper.”

  Eric stood erect. He met Liam’s gaze dead on. “What about her?”

  “You still seeing her, aren’t you?”

  “I’m working it out. Trying not to hurt her. We’re close man, really good friends.”

  Liam gave a bitter smile. He threw his pool stick on the felt. “Bullshit. Who do you think you’re dealing with? Trust me, I know what it is between you two, why you can’t back off. I just thought you’d have a little more self-control.”

  Eric leaned in on his pool stick. He cast his gaze to the balls instead of Liam when he spoke. “I’m a prick. But I got to be honest, man. It’s not sex. I really do…care for her.” He returned to his gaze to Liam. “You of all people should feel what I’m saying.”

  “This will kill her folks. They can barely get over Kay and me. You’re my friend, hell, my only friend besides Vasquez. Do you know what they will think? Kay and I got enough to deal with. Just leave her alone. Let her grow up and find her own way. Trust me, you’ll end up hurting her.”

  “We talking about me or you?”

  “Tell me the difference,” Liam shot back.

  Eric nodded. “I’ll end it. I swear. I’ll do it. But you got to hear me on this, man. I care for her, a lot. Fucked up or not, my feelings are in it. I never meant for it to go down like this. Aww hell, I’ll just screw it up. You’re right.”

  Liam tried to gauge if Eric was being truthful. He knew his friend would never use Harper or hurt her intentionally. But he also knew his friend lacked the desire to make something meaningful last with a woman, any woman. It was how he was wired, and during their roughneck days in the field it was okay. The lack of attachment to another person had made him fearless. Now they were men in a different time and Eric very well may want to have what he has with Kay. Liam could respect that, welcomed it for his buddy. But why did it have to be Harper? Liam held out little hope that Harper would make it easy for him. Not if she was anything like Kay. That meant eventually Andrew would see another one of his daughters corrupted too soon.

  “Thanks, man,” Liam extended his hand. Eric smirked. He slapped it away and gave him a brotherly hug.

  “How long you two fags gonna’ fucking stand there and hold each other’s dicks?”

  A roar of laughter escaped a rambunctious crowd of inebriated bikers. Liam zeroed in on the men. One in particular sneered back. His face was covered in reddish-brown hair from his bushy eyebrows to his matted beard.

  “I said it, motherfucker,” the biker snarled.

  Eric stepped forward. He stood between Liam and a table of six. “Since you asked so nicely, friend, you can sit through another one. Rack ’em, Liam.”

  The bearded biker stood. S
o did his crew. Liam groaned. “Let it go, Eric.” He pulled on Eric’s sleeve. “I’m done. Need to get back to Kay and Mac. Screw this.”

  He turned to put his pool stick back in the rack as another biker appeared in Eric’s blind spot. Liam eyes narrowed in on the man’s stealthy approach. So there won’t be any walking away from this? Shit, just what I need on Christmas Eve. He quickly did a scan of the corners to see yet more bikers with clenched fists, glaring as they came out of the darkness. Eric, of course, remained un-fazed, but the hairs on the back of Liam’s neck were on end. He felt adrenaline rushing through his veins, pumping fierce determination into the chambers of his heart. The darker part of him craved the violence and mayhem a bar fight would bring, not to mention the release. He fought against that urge frequently, but the truth was, if he didn’t accept and thrive off of violence, he wouldn’t have stayed alive in that desert hole. From his peripheral vision, he saw the brothers from Fort Bragg rise from their bar stools. Testosterone permeated in the air.

  “Fuck them hillbilly motherfuckers,” Eric said, turning away. He reached for his beer. He downed the last of his Heineken and the entire bar fell silent. Eric grinned at Liam with devilment sparkling in his eyes. “You ready?”

  No sooner than Eric spoke the words did a biker charge him from the left.

  “Three o’clock, E!”

  Eric ducked and avoided a beer bottle aimed at his head. He slammed his fist into the guy’s face and blood sprayed from the man’s nostrils. Liam stepped forward instead of back and took a direct hit in his nose and mouth. He felt nothing. Smiling at the taste of blood rising from his gums, he swung his pool stick. The wood broke over the head of his attacker. Liam was quick to duck low but his turn was awkward thanks to his leg. He compensated by using his upper body strength and shoving the guy into the next immediate threat charging toward him. Two bikers grabbed him from behind and his leg went out from under him.